Set Goals & Make Happy Again

There is no appropriate timeline to “get back to normal” or start laughing again. Whether it’s 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years, it’s normal! However, whenever it does happen, whenever you allow yourself to appreciate a joke or take your favourite dance class etc. It’s okay. It’s good.

It can feel so foreign to feel happiness after extreme pain. Sometimes creating this strange guilt and as a result we can begin to push those feelings of happiness further and further away. So, one of the ways to encourage yourself to keep trying to find happiness is to schedule time to do so. Set daily, weekly and monthly goals for yourself. It is a way to consistently check in with yourself objectively and be logical about the way you approach your healing.

I wouldn’t suggest doing this immediately after your loss but, whenever you feel yourself trying to find the good. That’s the indicator. Schedule everything from drinking water to sitting outside for 30 minutes to drinks with friends etc. Anything that provides you nourishment in all senses of the word, that’s what you need to write down or set a reminder to do. That way you don’t have to remember and it’s harder to talk yourself out of it.

Bring your grief with you and allow it to coexist with your life as it is now. You can be happy and sad at the same time and you can move through pain with silence and seclusion and/or with energy and laughter. But, don’t let anyone minimize your pain. Including yourself. Even if you’ve found something good to hold on to, just know that the pain can exist concurrently. And, that’s okay.