Embracing the Conflict: Finding Joy in the Midst of Grief

Hi Friends! Today, we’re going to chat about something that's been on my heart lately: the coexistence of joy and grief. As women, we are often told that we need to be strong and suppress our emotions, but I believe that allowing ourselves to feel both joy and grief is a crucial part of our emotional wellbeing and healing when it comes to the loss of a loved one.

First, let's talk about joy. Joy is that feeling of pure elation and happiness that we experience when things are going well in our lives. Maybe it's the feeling of the warm sun on our face, the laughter of our children, or the excitement of a new relationship. Whatever it may be, joy is a beautiful emotion that fills us up and makes us feel alive.

But what about grief? Grief is the opposite of joy. It's the feeling of sadness and loss that we experience when something or someone we love is taken away from us. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the disappointment of a missed opportunity, grief can be a heavy burden to bear.

So, how can these two seemingly opposite emotions coexist? Well, the truth is that they often do. In fact, it's possible to experience joy and grief simultaneously. You may be feeling overjoyed at the birth of a new baby, while also grieving the loss of your own mother who has passed away. Or perhaps you're enjoying a beautiful day with your friends, but also feeling the weight of a recent breakup. Or in my case, this week specifically, we are grieving Levi on his heavenly birthday, the heavenly birthday of a friend’s sweet daughter and then celebrating the life and birth of my husband, Neil. All of these things happen within a week of each other.

The coexistence of joy and grief can be confusing and overwhelming, but it's important to remember that both emotions are valid and necessary. It's okay to feel both at the same time, and it's okay to express those emotions in your own unique way. Maybe that means shedding tears of sadness while also smiling through the pain. Or maybe it means finding moments of joy and gratitude even in the midst of your grief.

In my own experience, I've found that allowing myself to feel both joy and grief has been a healing process. It's helped me to acknowledge and process my emotions, and it's also helped me to appreciate the moments of joy even more deeply. I've learned that it's okay to feel sadness and happiness simultaneously, and that it's possible to find beauty in the midst of pain. It’s what I feel every time I look at Kyla. The love for her and her existence brings me so much joy, and it’s always paired with wondering what Brady and Levi would be doing, how would they interact? which milestones would they be reaching? etc.

Many of my friends share how this presents for them on the podcast. If you are struggling with this juxtaposition, I encourage you to listen to either: Rachel Awtrey, Margaret Wallace and Jessica Hill.

So, if you're experiencing both joy and grief right now, know that you're not alone. It's okay to feel both at the same time, and it's okay to express those emotions in your own way. Remember to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel, and find moments of joy even in the midst of your grief. You got this!

My goal is to: empathize, encourage and empower you as you move through grief at your own pace. I would be so honoured to be your companion and support you on this journey.

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